Lesson learned #1

I was watching Departure the other day and I learned something so profound about forgiveness. Let’s just say that one particular scene has definitely succeeded to restore my faith back in humanity. The episode was on Rwanda; Scott and Justin were exploring the country’s darkest secret. Well, it’s not really a secret… it is perhaps more of a past; a history as well as a tragedy.  The hosts travelled to a spot where more than 5000 Tutsis once sought refuge. It was a rundown building, very tiny, and is now filled with the skeletons of the Tutsis. Their skeletons are stacked neatly next to each other, and their leftovers garments are hung together. These refugees were slaughtered brutally by the Hutus.

It was a conflict against two different ethnicities and in this case, the Hutus were determined to eliminate the Tutsis.  It happened throughout the country for 100 days and the estimated death toll ranges around a million. While countless of innocence blood was spilled, the world turned a blind eye upon it. The UN was oblivious and Bill Clinton who was the US president at the time even apologized for not intervening. 

Well, that’s just a brief description of the genocide that occurred in Rwanda; and now let’s go back to the point of this writing.

As the hosts arrived at the refuge and witnessed the countless of human bones neatly stacked against each other, they were told that out of the 5000 Tutsis who came and seek refuge under the rundown building, only 8 people survived. And one of the survivors still lives in the area, and they decided to bring her in. A woman. A middle aged woman, who said that she witnessed the killing of her children. She then proceeded to explain how she managed to hide under the slaughtered corpses to avoid being seen by the Hutus. She told her story boldly and with a sense of calm as if such horrendous atrocity had never happened to her. She was so self-composed, her voice was firm, and her eyes radiated peacefulness. After the genocide was over, one of the Hutus who committed the crime returned to the area of the refuge building and apologized to the survivors. And this woman FORGIVES him. She forgives him for taking the lives of her people, and most importantly she forgives him for taking away the most precious souls in her life, her children! 

I cannot, by any means, comprehend how she managed to forgive such a crime. One thing I’m sure of is that this woman has a heart which has the capacity to love like no other hearts can. Now I understand why she appears so calm and peaceful. 

She has let go. She forgives and moves on. 

Sounds so simple, yet it is by no means practical. Not everyone can do that. Hell, I still struggle intensely to forgive those who have done me wrong. If I were in that woman’s shoes, I would be rotting with bitterness, anger, and an intense desire to seek revenge. I could imagine myself being in a constant state of pain as a result of keeping such negative emotions within me. What a miserable life it would be!

This leads me to the point of realization that holding grudges does not only get you nowhere, but it also brings you to a whole new level of suffering which will increase your pain as time goes by. Forgiveness is a path to attain freedom; it is not practical, therefore it is something that needs to be practiced daily by reminding yourself often on the importance of acquiring inner peace.

Forgive and move on. It is your only way out.