It took me years to figure this one out; that forgiveness is not about condoning the act of the person at fault, but it is actually more about liberating yourself.
"To forgive and forget" many times doesn't go hand in hand. It is so easy to manipulate yourself when you decide to "forgive" someone. The word is on your lips but your heart says different. You fool yourself into believing that you've done the good deed but your mind itself can't stop replaying that particular painful scene over and over again.
You don't have to forget anything, nor do you have to pretend that any misdeed has never happened; you really don't have to live in denial.
It doesn't matter whether somebody deserves your forgiveness or not, forgive them anyway. Only through sincere forgiveness can you be at peace with yourself. If you keep on holding grudges, you establish an even stronger bond to those who hurt you and forgiveness is the only way to detach yourself from them.
Forgive people for your own sake. Hold no grudges against anyone. Release yourself from the vicious knot of anger. Save yourself.
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