After years of questioning, I finally received an answer. Not really sure how it all happened, but it was definitely an epiphany. I don't know why it took this long to figure out; nevertheless, I'm perfectly content and that's all that matters. The years have been quite tough, especially this last few weeks, but this last few weeks turn out to be all that is required to finally come full circle with the devil within me.
I've finally made peace with the Man above. And it feels so good (absolutely beyond anything) to be reconnected with Him after so long. I feel like a lost sheep being found by its shepherd. To feel your soul flickers with life is indescribable. Knowing that I have an undefeated security system, simply by resting my heart in God, is a wonderful source of peace of mind.
There's still gonna be more challenges, more roller coaster rides, and more mystery to solve; however, as long as you're at peace spiritually, you become automatically unbeatable. You may not be in control of your body because of the disease you suffer, but you're in full power when it comes to your mind.
Until now, I can safely say that I won the battle
I'm finally home.
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